I constantly fucking pretend to be happy in front of my friends. Then they tell me that they want me to not be fake and tell them how I actually feel. When I tell them how they feel, they tell me not to talk like that. Fuck it.
The moment you see a blade and your first thought is cut. The moment you see a flame and your first thought is burn. The moment you’re up high and your first thought is jump. The moment you look at medicine and your first thought is how many it would take to overdose. The moment you are in a crowded room and your first thought is I’m all alone. The moment you wake up and your first thought is I can’t take this anymore.
I cried when I found out Johnny use to self harm (This was a while ago)
Having done it to myself in the past I understand the emotional pain of it all, and I never ever want other people I care and love to experience that, especially my idol…
My thoughts
- Parents: We love you
- Friends: We love you
- Others: We love you
- Partner: I love you
- Paranoia: They're lying, they're just using you. No one loves you. You're ugly. You're a pathetic freak. Everyone hates you. They all talk behind your back. They wish you were dead. You are unloved. You are forever hated. You deserve to die.
